


You were there for me and now you're leaving

by Dinho



Series: Ney (+) Alexis [1]
Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, Arsenal FC, Broken Hearts, Cold, FC Barcelona, Fluff, Gen, Happy, Hurt, Leaving, M/M, Piano, Waiting, im making this a thing, not knowing how to let go, theres more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3234431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinho/pseuds/Dinho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexis is leaving soon. Neither of them are ready to let go.<br/>"te amo" [...] "eu te amo"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Departure

**Author's Note:**

> All is fictional as far as i know ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexis is leaving

When Alexis found out he had to leave his home, had to leave the city of Barcelona, the club, he was devastated. He really thought everything was going well in Barcelona and as absurd as it sounded he would sometimes stay awake at night thinking about what comes after Barcelona and he would try to imagine himself in a club like maybe somewhere playing the premier leagues or in Italy or the French League but he couldn't because he was happy. Happy with the Catalunyan city, the club and his teammates (his friends) and let's not forget the fans the fans have received him with open arms and he loves the warmth, the relationship between the fans and the team it's all great. 

The day before he was to leave for sure to Arsenal; his new home. Neymar stopped by for a visit Alexis was surprised to see him there because the guys had already thrown him a 'see you soon' party (because according to Dani it wasn't a goodbye; Alexis knew it was.) and what a crazy party that was, it was so crazy that Neymar ended up staying at his house. On Alexis bed, not that he minded.

"hola" said the Portuguese speaking man with something in his hand, Alexis moved to the side letting him in. Neymar looked around the house, it was empty with just the big furniture to be seen and some boxes Alexis still had. "hasn't looked this clean in well since I first got it" Alexis chuckled dryly at his own statement making Neymar to turn his gaze towards him "I- yeah yea feels weird..." he let out a breathe "...i um brought you this" the Brazilian placed the object in Alexis' hand. Alexis raised the keychain to see it better he let a smile show when he realized what it was then he looked over a Neymar who was looking down with a sheepish smile. It was a picture of the entire team with Alexis' Jersey; the name and number on their chest. Neymar was the only one wearing the National team jersey and the one who was in the middle, the one Alexis looked at the most. "this- its- i love it" he looked up at Neymar this time Neymar was looking at him "I was going to get you a frame but i want you to carry me- us everywhere you go" he was blushing;

The first time Alexis saw Neymar blush was the first time they met, Alexis was shirtless and he caught the young Brazilian looking at his upper body. And all the times that followed after that, but if Alexis had to choose his favorite was when him and Neymar were talking and Dani appeared saying something like Neymar's haircut (or something about him; teasing) was ugly and Alexis answering with an "I think it's cute" making Neymar blush and making Dani tease Neymar about blushing saying "It's so strange to see you blush. You never blush not even when girls talk to you-" he blushed even harder Alexis just watched the young man with a small smile "-well in your defense if I was into men I'd blush too if Alexis told me I was cute" and he walked away leaving a wide eyed Neymar redder than ever, Alexis chuckling. 

"its perfect-i love it, thank you" he examined the piece again "what shirt is that?-" he looked up at Neymar "-I mean which one?" Neymar interrupted him "the one you gave me after the match- my favorite." Alexis was looking at him intently "I dint know you had a favorite. How many do you even have?" they both laughed "well I have the one I'm wearing there and the one I have with the others you've given me and then I have the one I sleep with when I miss you..." Alexis eyes shot open as did Neymar's. "you didn't- it wasn't a question -sorry" Alexis reached out to hold his face "for what? for answering my question? yea...I didn't mean it legitimately but I'm glad you answered." he was so close. so close. "does it smell like me?" Neymar was nervous, Alexis could tell. He nodded his head smiling a small smile "they all do" Alexis smiled "I'm going to miss you so much. Promise me you won't get along with the new player or just not as much as you get along with me" he hoped Neymar would say yes and if he did it would be the first time he'd say No to him "i promise. No one will ever be you. i- we -no one- ever" Neymar cursed himself for not being able to talk normally but Alexis was just so close "ok" Alexis wanted to taste him he wanted to hold him, he wanted to take him with him to Arsenal, he wanted to stay with him but he couldn't he couldn't do any of those things. He could smell him he loved the way the Brazilian smelled, but he wanted a taste of those lips his neck his...- he wanted to taste every inch of the young blaugrane in front of him for so long and now that he had him so close he couldn't because he wouldn't be where he is now tomorrow and he couldn't do that to Neymar. He wasn't going to be selfish, not with him. so he just pulled him into a hug and held him tightly. Neymar copied him hugging him tightly his head resting on the Chilean's shoulder breathing in all of him.

The two men stayed like that for a while. Alexis was the one to pull away, getting out a whimper from Neymar "don't" Neymar wasn't ready to let go "stay" He let go this time staring at Alexis with a smile and a glint of hope in his eyes " you have to take me to the airport tomorrow anyways" Neymar's eyes lost the glint of hope, Alexis noticed it regretting instantly what he had said but he couldn't think of anything to say to make him feel better so he just grabbed his hand, leading him to the room he will be at for the last time. Alexis went straight for a box he had on top of his desk, Neymar went to the bed in the middle of the room un lacing his shoes when he looked up Alexis was standing in front of him with a Cheshire cat smile on his face and a Jersey on his hands "this one is my favorite" Neymar looked up at him. Alexis handing him the jersey "no. It's yours" "No one will love it as much as you will...take it please ney" Alexis rarely called him 'Ney' and when he did it was when he wanted something knowing that Neymar couldn't resist the way Alexis said his nickname. 

Neymar took off the shirt he was wearing. Taking the Shirt from Alexis hands; putting it on. He smiled at Alexis once he had it on then he took his pants off scooting backwards until he reached the top of the bed, raising an eyebrow at Alexis who still hadn't budge. The chileno got the idea soon enough though taking his shirt, shoes, and pants off; not minding that Neymar was gazing at him -his thumb near his lips-. When he got in the bed he turned off the light by the bedside table then turned to Neymar "Ney" he was already looking at him "I'm sorry" Neymar didn't even blink, he knew. He knew that Alexis was apologizing for something out of his reach "me too" but he understood.

He wasn't going to let Alexis fall asleep sad though so he decided to talk about all the they've done together including the time the guys pulled a prank on Alexis; A very childish prank and they all knew it. "remember when you were showering and you screamed like a girl" Neymar was laughing "because someone decided to poor ice cold water on my back which by the way leads to my butt..." Neymar stopped laughing but the smile stayed on his lips "I'm very aware... and it's not because I have one of my own" god did Alexis want to kiss him. Rub his hands 

When the morning came Alexis was woken up first by his ringing phone in the nightstand, he reached over to turn his alarm off checking to see the time '5:00' he groaned he had to be in the UK by 9 and the time zones were all so complicated he was probably going to be there by midnight -early mornings made him overdramatic- he relaxed when he noticed the Brazilian cuddled into him like a cat. A smile creeping up on him remembering the night before "te amo" he said to the still sleeping man placing a kiss on his forehead. 

__________  
at the airport, Neymar wasn't the only one there, some of the guys showed up like Pique and many others. But Alexis could tell that even though all of them were sad Neymar was hurt and he would do anything anything to make the pain go away. He kissed them all on the cheek and said goodbye a specific phrase to each one and a whisper to Leo because Leo he trusted Leo with his life "take care of him please" Leo nodded his head smiling at him "i will" and then the last person he wanted to say bye to. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose was red too and sign that he had been crying. Alexis placed his hand on the slightly taller man who started crying as soon as it touched his skin, Alexis' heart broke at the scene in front of him, pulling Neymar in for hug "Passengers boarding the plane to England need to be at the gate A ; last call" neither of them wanted to let go but they both they knew they had too. "I love you" Alexis had been practicing his English pronunciation making Neymar laugh every time he would talk in English. "Eu te amo" Alexis looked at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek (the last kiss for god knows how long) and "remember the promise.-" Neymar nodded sniffling"-I'll call you when i get there" he wiped the youngster's tears with thumb looking at him for a while longer "Alexis.." they heard Puyol say telling him to hurry up nodding his head Alexis let go Neymar and started walking away, waving at his teamma-family before he was out of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on Alexis leaving and all those cute videos of them together and pictures (espically the one where Alves is there too and Alexis says "estas bonito" or something like that to Ney after Dani says something about Ney's hair)  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_-9X47gvqU - he says "estas lindo" fhadgfjg -this is where that one paragraph in my story is based on (the one with Dani in it) 
> 
> -this one is longer just incase (but you can't hear them talk so...) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp0HcdnD6qw  
> i hope i fixed all of my grammatical errors.  
> Thank you for reading and for the kudos and the comments 
> 
> All mistakes are mine, I didn't reread so...


	2. Insecurities and Lies (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neymar stops letting himself believe lies that Alexis didn't even know he was telling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a fic something's are legit, not all though.

Maybe they were all being a bit dramatic, not really. 

 

Leaving hurt and being left hurt. Alexis did as he did, like usual, true to his word called Neymar as soon as he landed although he did wait until he was out of the airport and in the car that was taking him to wherever he needed to go. 

"Hey" Neymar picked up on the first ring but he wasn't listening "hello?" Alexis repeated himself again hearing shuffling and voices from Neymar's side of the line. "Ney?" It was silent now "sorry," the Brazilian sounded out of breath "sorry, I was- not impo- how is it?" he was still trying to catch his breath as he rambled or tried to. "Its...cold" Alexis chuckled "oh, you hate the cold," it was true Alexis did and he wasn't a big fan of playing in the cold. He liked the sun and heat and cold beer and burning hot summer days not gloomy chilly summer days, that's not even what summer is. "yea but I guess, I guess, I'll have to start liking it, get used to it." he tried to laugh but it came out forced and Neymar didn't even smile he did the complete opposite and frowned. 

"not too much though" Neymar's confidence wasn't always great and Alexis was the only one who actually had seen the insecure side of Neymar (apart from his family/close friends) and he was even more insecure when it was about Alexis "uh I don't think I can do that, actually," Neymar sighed and yeah maybe it was a lie or not Neymar decided it wasn't because he felt better with that answer, it let him get atleast a bit of sleep.

 

A few months had gone by and Neymar was slowly becoming a gunner, recording every game, wearing red when it was a game day, and thinking of arsenal whenever he thought of England but all of that always led to Alexis, always. So maybe Neymar wasn't a gunner, he was just a fan of Alexis. As time went on he saw him progress on the pitch and with his new teammates. Especially a number nine, Podolski read the back of the red and white jersey, also a German. Neymar held a grudge against them, against him, Neymar didn't like _him_. 

At first he'd make disgusted gestures towards the striker whenever he appeared on the tv screen, he'd roll his eyes at the tv whenever he'd score or smile and although he hated him he'd frown whenever he celebrated with Alexis. Even if Alexis seemed happy Neymar's selfish side reminded him he wasn't. 

One time Neymar found himself smiling back at the German on screen, told himself it was only because the German's smile was contagious. Then he found himself smiling without minding and that's when he started noticing the beauty he held. His brown eyes, his joyful personality, his smile, the skills his feet had, the way he connected with Alexis, the way he cherished Alexis. Maybe just maybe Neymar was ok with Alexis getting used to that...to the cold, to england, to a new club....to Podolski. 

 

"hola Ney!" Neymar had called because he missed Alexis, the Chilean didn't call as often or text. Neymar would only get to see him on Instagram and vice versa for Alexis, if he even remembered Neymar. "uh hm hola" Neymar was home alone phone held tightly pressed to his ear "I-" Neymar would like to tell him how much he misses him how he wishes every night that he'd still be there with him "how's England? they treating you well?" Alexis sighed, a happy sigh, "Good, better than i expected but not _better_ " not better than Barcelona was left unsaid "oh ok, I uh- watch you" Alexis smiled wide "you do?" Alexis never asked because he didn't think it was...his place to ask for that. "yea every game, you play good, duh. Is it any different, the league?" Neymar is laid back with a hand on his stomach stroking lazily. 

"mm yea it is but I'm getting the hang of it, the team helps" Neymar doesn't think about Arsenal's team he thinks about the number nine with the seventeen. "yeah especially podolski" the Brazilian doesn't even realize what he said until his brain catches up with his mouth and then "wha-what?" Neymar sits up instantly putting his freehand on his forehead "I- uh I mean Podolski seems like a great guy and he must have helped you" Neymar curses under his breath because how stupid can you be?... "uh he's great, a great friend. Ney..." Neymar knows what's about to come so he stops it because the lies aren't soothing anymore, they're just lies. 

"-it's ok lex," Neymar's breathing is ragged because he knows that this could be the end "you should move on, I mean it's half of the reason why you agreed to leave" the end to whatever they had "I don't- believe them, not anymore." Alexis is dumbfounded not knowing what the youngster is talking about "what, what don't you believe on?" he needs to know "the lies...I'm young not naive, not that much atleast." and fuck does Alexis wish he was there, wishes this conversation was happening in person "Ney...not like this, please, please" the pleas came out in small whispers "I want to see you, please- just, not- please" tears were threatening to escape Alexis eyes on the other end Neymar felt an ache and broken and tired. 

"ok" there was sniffling on the other side of the line which is what made Neymar agree to ending the conversation at least for now. "I hate that the person that's," _replacing me_ " making you like England is German" Neymar chuckled because not really but Alexis didn't find it funny "he's nice but a friend" Neymar really wants the lies to end but then he thinks that maybe Alexis does really think he's speaking the truth "oh alright" it took the Chilean so long to get whatever Neymar was trying so hard to find, _him_ ; and he still doesn't get it. 

 

Alexis doesn't talk to Neymar for a while after that and whenever he did their conversations felt distant on an emotional level. So he stopped because he wasn't gullible enough to not know that Neymar was ok with the calls to end. 

For some reason Neymar ends up following Lukas on Instagram only to find that the German was already following him. He spends about an hour or more stalking the tall pale man. As he's scrolling past the pictures he reaches one of Podolski with Bastian Schweinsteiger then he remembers, he remembers hanging out with Bastian one night in Brazil during the world cup. Bastian had gotten up and out of the party with a phone glued to his ear and Neymar might have been drunk but not drunk enough to not worry about a friend so being himself he followed the German out of the pub.

"Polds? Lukas?" Neymar can tell that Bastian's worry, hears it in the older man's voice so he steps forward placing a hand on the broad shoulder "oh for fucks sakes, you scared the living sh- alright, alright, yes, I'm going...bye lo- bye" Neymar doesn't speak German and although the language makes everyone sound angry, the German on the other side of the phone sounded _really_ angry. "i-is everything okay?" Bastian turns around a small smile appearing on his face once he recognizes Neymar in the dark. 

Nodding his head the German tells Neymar he has to go back to his hotel. A few months later he remembers seeing Podolski somewhere then he spoke German and he recognized the voice immediately; they made eye contact and even though they had never met before and there was a street separating them at that moment the German looked at him with dark, accusing eyes. Neymar knew why, the Brazilian would be upset too if his bo-....friend was taken out for drinks by a younger, hot Brazilian when they knew they could never be together. All they had was the precious time with the NT squad. So yea Neymar just smiled shyly at the German, apologizing. A few weeks later a 'poldi_official' on Instagram liked a picture that he posted of him and Bastian at that same club. Neymar took that as he was forgiven.

He stopped scrolling, turning his phone off to think about all of it. When he gathers his head he goes back to stalking stopping at a picture of Podolski's ass sticking out with Alexis holding his hand and a pun as his caption. It makes fire shoot through Neymar's veins; He couldn't help but think of things that made him gag, of Alexis holding Lukas down, pushing him down a large, soft mattress. He stops his thoughts before he ends up throwing up because Alexis would look much better on top of him, his tan skin against Neymar's slightly darker skin. They'd look so _good_ , Neymar's imagined it enough to at least have an idea of how it'd feel. It's all he'll ever get from Alexis; He has always known that. At the time it was enough. Not anymore.

He goes back to scrolling chuckling at some of the captions Podolski has, hating himself for staring a bit too long at the smile the German has on almost ALL of his photos. Neymar scrolls up once he reaches the end stopping at a video of Alexis, he must have missed it. It takes a while for the video to load, Ney doesn't mind though because he's staring at the way Alexis has that face that says nothing but, 'I always get what I want'. Before Neymar has time to react to that thought the video starts playing and Neymar's left in awe with his lips parted open as he listens to the video on loop as he hears it over and over again. 

He taught the Chilean that song, taught him how to play that part.

They were at his house with Neymar playing randomly as Alexis stood leaning near him recording him "wow, so beautiful. Are you bad at anything?" he chuckled in disbelief as Neymar's fingers moved pressing down and moving to other keys as he played the most beautiful thing yet he made it seem so easy, just like he did with his feet on the pitch. "aw, no, keep going" Alexis frowned when the Brazilian stopped the swift movements of his long fingers. "come here" Alexis obliged moving closer to Neymar where he was seated but not for long as Neymar got up letting Alexis sti down. 

He went up behind the Chilean talking so close to his ears that it made Alexis' skin chilled "you know the chords?" Alexis nodded "great here give me," Neymar took Alexis phone from him placing the camera towards them next to a book Neymar had on the stand, the camera hopefully recording them (later Alexis watched the video over and over again the camera captured only Neymar at the end; Alexis still didn't notice Neymar's intention). "now place your hands on the treble c and the- yup that's it" Neymar walks him through it stopping him a few times to help Alexis "I can't- Ney just sit and do it, i love the way you do it" Neymar blushes but doesn't listen to what Alexis says leaning over Alexis a bit placing his hands on top of Alexis, each finger aligned perfectly with slightly smaller ones. Somehow making it work, until they were both playing at the same time with Neymar's hands on top of Alexis'.

Like a parent holding on to a child's bicycle when their learning how to ride then letting go. Neymar let go until Alexis' fingers were flowing beautifully on top of white and black. Neymar was staring in pure amusement, averting his eyes to Alexis' face whenever he saw from the corner of his eyes his tongue peak out licking at his lips in concentration; Neymar licked his in anticipation of aching to taste those lips.

That's another lie Neymar has learned to live with. Going back to the lighted up screen on his phone reading the caption then staring just staring. Neymar had learned the lyrics in english, learned how to play it on the piano for _him_. He felt as if Alexis wasn't just playing the Piano for his teammate it felt more intimate, as if Alexis had learned the lyrics too, understood them and that's when Neymar couldn't handle it. He felt the warmth of his tears roll down his cheeks as he closed his eyes tightly, trying so hard not to remember the sleepless nights after training and games just so that he could show Alexis before he left to Arsenal. 

_'Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had writers-block for this series and FINALLY i got around to writing just anything!
> 
> NOTHING against Germans especially not Poldi (my fave German), sorry if i offend anyone though. 
> 
> -All references about Poldi's insta are based on real posts.   
> -Alexis did play 'waiting for you' to Poldi but Neymar didn't teach him how to  
> -Neymar probs doesn't hold any grudges against the Germans  
> -Neymar and Bastian did go out to part but that's the only legit thing the rest isn't   
> (Poldi doesn't hate Ney....i hope, i think)  
> -I don't think Alexis wanted to leave.
> 
> Kudos and Comments help me grow, thank you! I hope it was an enjoyable chapter.   
> P.s. I'm excited for the next part. lol.


	3. Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flashbacks that match the lyrics Neymar learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: super cheesy.

_Oceans apart day after day And I slowly go insane I hear your voice on the line But it doesn't stop the pain_

Everyday Neymar misses Alexis.  
Maybe he looks _insane_ whenever he looks over at the #9 locker lifting his eyes to where 'Alexis' would be but finding 'Suarez' instead, his heart aches. He knows there are concernings eyes of his teammates on him but right now he has the right to be selfish and miss Alexis, to not be fine with Alexis leaving and not having to say "I'm fine" whenever Xavi asks him if he's okay, to not force a smile on his face. 

The calls help of course but not as much as Neymar wishes they did. Sometimes they talk about the weirdest things and other times about things that make one or the other lose their breath. Back when Alexis would wear Blue and Red he'd sleep over at Neymar's apartment (before Neymar had a house) he'd tell himself it was for Neymar but Alexis liked those times he liked that they would fall asleep apart but they would always wake up tangled up in each other making it almost always awkward; yet they would fall back to sleep just like that, enjoying the warmness. 

When Alexis' leaving was still recent and he wasn't communicating well with his new teammates and everything made it seem like the decision he made was the wrong one. The chilean would call Neymar just to hear that voice that he learned to understand the weird spanish/portuguese mixture of the Brazilian. Neymar would talk and talk about nothing but nonsense. Sometime Neymar would just play FIFA with Alexis on the line, screaming into the phone from time to time waking Alexis up from his nap. Whispering softly apologies to the Chilean until he heard the breathing on the other line go back to the way it was before. 

Time would pass and he'd scream again dropping his phone in the process and, "Sorry...Sorry..?" He'd get snoring in return instead of a chuckle and a mumble saying that it was ok. Neymar would smile at that turning off the console, turning the volume of everything off so that the only thing heard was the snoring coming from his phone's speaker.

 

 _If I see you next to never How can we say forever_

The calls would be short because of their busy schedule as time progressed, but there was always time until 'the' conversation happened and Alexis stopped calling.  
There was small of the Ocean in-between, yet it was difficult to see each other. "I miss you, Ney" Neymar would be rummaging through the fridge for something to drink when Alexis would blurt that 3 word phrase out "I do too, all the time...We'll see each other soon,though, right?" it feels heavy, like a promise they would pinky promise on, like a lie. Either Way Alexis would agree, "of course".

They saw each other whenever Alexis wore Red and Neymar yellow, _never_ not at international duties. Alexis was busy with Arsenal and Neymar with Barcelona both of the males took part starting for their teams. And even then those international matches against each other never came. When they did though it felt like they were still together like there was still an unsaid _forever_ hidden in their words or actions. 

 

_[...] I took for granted, all the times That I thought would last somehow I hear the laughter, I taste the tears But I can't get near you now_

Whenever things would get intimate (not sexually) neither of them would ever take that for _granted_ , they wouldn't talk about it and somehow it felt like they didn't have too. Yet sometimes Alexis would either act or really not know but he could be too oblivious. Too damn oblivious. And other times he wouldn't know just what to say, what to do . Although most of his obliviousness went away as times got tougher, closer to his departure. The little things that Neymar thought he'd always get to see; the ones he now realized he took for _granted_ those were the ones he missed so much. Never thinking he wouldn't get to see them someday.

Alexis would talk in an embarrassing accent saying phrases in english just to amuse Neymar after he'd beg for Alexis to tell him what he had learned that week. And Alexis would do it because it always made Neymar laugh and Alexis would do anything to get to _hear_ that beautiful laughter in person again. And as much as he loves those times when they'd talk and he would get to hear laughter from the Brazilian it wasn't always like that. 

Sometimes when Neymar would have an outright horrible day, and Alexis would get short answers to his questions he knew. So he would say what he always said "Te amo, your problems are enough, you can cry, you are allowed to feel bad, to get mad", Neymar's breathing would be ragged "ney?...mi rey" that'd be when Alexis would start hearing sniffling and he would start whispering things, anything to make Neymar feel better. The chileno would remind himself that tears weren't always bad. 

Remembering when Neymar started crying tears of joy when they won 'la super copa' because Neymar was so young back then and Alexis knew the feeling, the feeling of winning something with the club of your dream with players you loved enough to consider them family. He ran up to Neymar just to hold him, he could feel the the Brazilian crying on his shoulder could feel him shuddering in his arms. Alexis pushed him away, Neymar not wanting to let go, never letting go of the Chileno's waist. The shorter man framed the youngster's face kissing away the salty drops mixed with the droplets of sweat under his eyes. _Tasting_ the tears of the Brazilian "You're amazing, so, so, so, amazing...Ney, so fuckinh amazing", Neymar's eyes were closed but his smile was so wide to be considered a normal smile. 

"Te amo" Neymar's eyes shot open at those words then he leaned in to push his face into Alexis' shoulder mumbling something into the heat of that darker skin "Eu te amo", the Brazilian just let himself be held by the smaller man until it Alexis remembered there were cameras filming there every move so he pulled away giving Neymar a last kiss on the forehead, grabbing the other's head to bring it down slightly enough to kiss him there. 

But that was then and this is _now_. Alexis isn't there anymore to kiss those sour tear away all he can do is tell him it'll be alright because at the end it will be, he knows it will. _Somehow_ Alexis will find his way back to Neymar to help stop the tears; to be _near_ Neymar again. 

 

_Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me going crazy _

They're going _crazy_. Behind his closed eyes Neymar is dreaming of Alexis with him, going _crazy_ when he wakes up confused to find that he's all alone. While Alexis' fingers twitch a little as he scrolls through his camera roll, looking at all the pictures of him and Neymar. Wanting to reach out and touch the young man, aching to feel the warm skin pressed against his in a non-sexual way. Whether they are to admit it or not, they are driving each other _crazy_. And this didn't start when Alexis' left, it's a thing that has always been going on between them since...well, since they met. 

Maybe it wasn't always about the ache of their bodies to feel the other or an ache to have the other near them. Sometime Neymar would dribble on a game during practice and Alexis would be trying to get the ball back but with Neymar's swift movements and speed that was something that seemed impossible, at least without making a clean foul. Almost always Alexis would either end up letting a defender chase him or he'd just go _crazy_ and push Neymar down yelling down at the Brazilian who at first when Alexis started doing that would have wide eyes but as time went on and he got used to it he'd just have a smug smile. Most of the time someone would pull Alexis by the wrist to get the game back on, for the rest of the day Neymar would have this teasing glint in his eyes whenever he made eye contact with Alexis.

It wasn't just Alexis the one that would go _crazy_ by acts from the other because Neymar to would feel himself going _crazy_ because of Alexis. Alexis spoke weird words that Neymar didn't know and that drove Neymar _crazy_ , sure maybe Alexis wasn't talking to him, maybe Neymar was eavesdropping but it still drove him _crazy_. This happened often and most of the time Neymar would just go shower frustrated trying to remember the word so he could google it or something. They were about to head out for training when they were pulled into groups of two; team Xavi and team Puyol. They were arguing about something but Xavin wasn't saying anything. Neymar was on team Puyol with Leo and Alexis on team Xavi with guaje. Neymar was paying attention to what Puyol was ordening when he overheard Alexis voice "Corta el queque!" at Xavi, Neymar outright turned his head to the side like a confused puppy. 

He googled that later finding out that Alexis was basically telling Xavi to make the decision. 

There was another time were Alexis, Villa and Leo were discussing about something. It wasn't about football though, Leo was talking silently trying to persuade David turning to look at Alexis who basically just listening so he just answered with his arms raised up in defence saying, "No estoy ni ahí"as he turned around to walk a few steps back to his locker leaving David and Leo to finish their discussion. 

Some other day Neymar is jokingly arguing with Alexis about how he's not good enough or just not better than last season. They're at Neymar's house (he'd gotten around to affording one; and finding the perfect one), Alexis is coming back from the kitchen with two bottles of gatorade because they had a game the next day and Xavi's lecture and Puyi's stern look don't help sooth any hangover symptoms, so they stick to the safe side with Gatorades. When Alexis yells "Neymar, I'm not saying it because you're my friend and I adore you", Neymar's heart flutters a tiny bit "pero no vales callampa" Neymar laughs until he asks "what the hell does that mean?" referring to the term 'callampa'

Alexis grins at him as he takes a seat next to Neymar "It means you're not, not worth a lot," Alexis looks at him then continues "especially to me" Neymar is still chuckling but he still manages to ask "I don't...." Alexis rolls his eyes "You're worth something, especially to me." Alexis isn't looking at him anymore "oh, ok" they get back to the game without saying anything else when Alexis scores a goal (with Neymar's mini-me inside the screen) and Alexis is cheering when everything clicks. Then Neymar's saying "Thanks" with a grin on his face "...Listen I know you're cocky but seriously?" Alexis is looking at him incredulously thinking Neymar's thanking him for scoring with his little digital person. 

Neymar shakes his head "no,no, for what you said earlier," Alexis raises an eyebrow at him, Neymar doesn't explain and simply says "you're worth a lot to me too" and then they're both smiling at each other like idiots but no one was there to see them. They kept smiling until Alexis spoke up "let me beat your ass again" Neymar laughed loud as Alexis grinned looking over at the Brazilian a few time as they returned to the game.

 

_[...] I wonder how we can survive This romance_

Although the relation between them wasn't considered a _romance_ , not officially at least, still it felt like it. There were little gestures in-between them that made everyone around them roll their eyes or wolf whistle (pique) and get some heart-eyes from others. Gestures like Alexis getting strawberries from the breakfast buffet even though he's never liked them, just to give them to Neymar, even when they don't sit next to eachother. Alexis would walk by the table where Neymar would be seated with Pique, Jordi, Alba and Dani just to drop off the strawberries. 

Sticking the unused fork into the strawberry placing one by one on the Brazilian's plate. The older male sticking his tongue out in concentration to lick his lips as he places the fork into the berries, Neymar watched his plate as pieces of fruits are added to his plate. The rest of his teammates at the table all staring at Alexis because even though it is usual for this to happen they will never get used to it. Once Alexis is done he looks at Neymar and gives him smile that no one, not even if Neymar tried to explain it, would ever understand the secrets that smile held. He smiles back, always does. 

Dani startles the too when he starts laughing then it's Jordi who sneaks a hand over to steal a Strawberry that earns him a frown from Neymar and a furrowed eyebrows from Alexis to which he responded by sticking his tongue out at them in a childish manner. "so who tops?" Alexis raises his hand mentioning his departure as he walks away deciding to leave Gerard's horrible joke. Neymar is left blushing but his eyes are on Geri while the spaniard laughs loudly and obviously proud of his joke. "not funny" Is all the Brazilian says as he goes back to eating his strawberries, Gerard stops laughing giving him a quick wink as they all go back to eating and conversating normally. Somewhere midway as Neymar's finishing the red fruit in his hand his eyes find Alexis and he's looking back at the Brazilian. 

Neymar smiles a shyly smile while Alexis stares but not at Neymar no, not at all, his staring at the fruit in-between the youngster's lips as it disappears. And the possibilities are endless but Neymar may have caught the way Alexis tongue slipped out to lick at his bottom lip. He looked away as fast as he saw it because, fuck, his mind works like a sixteen year old when it comes to those sort of things. The last thing Neymar wants is something embarrassing in his pants noticeable enough for his teammates to tease him about. 

That's not the only gesture though, there's so many more. Like Neymar letting Alexis win at anything just to see the wrinkles that form by his eyes whenever he smiles too hard (the happy dance he did was just a plus). Or Alexis offering to order for Neymar whenever they went out to eat with half of the team, or when Neymar would go to a restaurant he'd never been to before pointing at dishes on the menu leaning over towards Alexis to ask what they are and if he'd like it. Sometimes Neymar wouldn't be too sure so Alexis would order something and let Neymar try it, sticking his fork into the piece of food then handing it over to Neymar so that he'd eat it on his own even though he'd take it back from Neymar who'd sometimes return it with a nod (approving of it) or with disgusted face shaking his head slightly (disapprovingly) Alexis would chuckle slightly either way, going back to use that same fork even after Neymar used, Leo would notice looking over at them in awe. 

There were other times when Neymar would be teaching him how to say swear words in portuguese. They'd be out on sun chairs by the pool both of them shirtless, Neymar in a speedo and Alexis in one he borrowed from Neymar ("It just came in through the mail, I've never used it, you can wear it"), of course. The piece of clothing made _everything_ look big, "How do you say...suck my dick in portuguese?" the question takes him by surprise, he can feel himself blush "chupa meu pau..." Neymar whispers it so low Alexis hardly hears it but Neymar's certain he did when the Chilean repeats, "chupa meu pau" he says as he nods his head.

Time passes by and they talk about everything, including dogs and other weird conversations that included Neymar being asked to translate things his mom would probably cut his tongue out with safety scissors just so it would hurt more. 

Alexis was breathless as he laughed about a childhood story of a 16 year old Neymar getting his braces stuck on a girls lips "it was an accident, I swear" someone else would be embarrassed but Neymar found that story funny because well one, it was hilarious and two, It was literally an accident, he somehow ended up with his teeth stuck on a _guy's_ bottom lip. Alexis couldn't stop laughing at the image of a sixteen year old scrawny Neymar with his braces stuck "how does that even happen?" Neymar shook his head "I don't know but it makes everything funnier" Neymar just smiled widely at the Chilean next to him on his own sun chair. They went back to 'normal' conversations as soon as their laughter died down. 

That was until Alexis asked, "how do you say, fuck yourself in the ass?..in Portuguese" Neymar gulped, air, either way he gulped "vai tomar no cu" Alexis was used to hearing Neymar's big mouth around the other guys, especially Geri, but now, now here without anyone just the two Neymar's face flushed and he looked so, innocent, so fucking innocent. Something he wasn't but it still intrigued Alexis "Me enraba", Neymar's eyes shot wide open turning to look over at Alexis who had a straight face "a fan told me that one time, I didn't know. Dani told me" they were both quiet until they both started laughing not being able to contain it. 

 

 _But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance_

Maybe now neither was talking to the other like the use to but that didn't mean they don't anticipate the day until they get to see eachother again. They both knew that as soon as they saw the other everything would be ok, for a small time but it would all be alright. So they'd take the _chance_ as long as in the end they'd be together.  


_Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me going crazy_

Alexis is for a fact going _crazy_. His feelings don't match with his thoughts. There's a Brazilian that makes him lose control of his _own_ body as if he has been doing it all his life, they have never touched sexually. It felt like Neymar was controlling his body with his words with the things he taught of at night, in the shower or in bed. It was driving him crazy how fast the acts caused by those thoughts would end. 

If anyone should be fearful about ending at a nuthouse it should be Neymar. Alexis did so many, seriously _so_ many things that would drive Neymar to actually wanting to physically rip his hair out. One by one, which is saying something for the fact, well, if Neymar would say so himself his hair is precious. The thing that drove Neymar the most crazy apart from the fact that for some reason Alexis never shut the water once he showered after a game, and he never closed the door of his locker, oh and he'd just leave this fucking mess all over the ground around it, but it wasn't even that it was that _he_ could do it but _Neymar_ couldn't. 

The number one thing in the endless list of reasons why Alexis would have Neymar end up in a nuthouse would be the fact that the slightly smaller man (in height) was and could be too fucking oblivious. Neymar was certain though, certain that the Chilean had an off and on switch to his oblivion. 

No matter what though, Alexis would chase Neymar anywhere and vice versa. Whatever the other decided to do they always knew they'd have the other to rely on, even if it ends up hurting them. If wasn't obvious enough Neymar would wait for Alexis no matter how long it took and Alexis would wait for Neymar for a thousand years if it came to that. Whether as friends or more Alexis would always have Neymar by his side and Neymar knew that Alexis would always be by his. 

_Wherever you go_  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Waiting for you  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song does fit and I'm honestly just writing as i progress because I change my mind too much and next chapter will be more happy, I hope. Any mistakes are alllllll mine. :)
> 
> And as I said previously I was excited about writing this chapter and I really hope it's enjoyable to all of you; at least some of it.There's a lot of flashback in here so just to be clear throughout the entire chapter Alexis is in England and Neymar in Spain.  
> -based on the song Right here waiting by Richard Marx  
> -any weird words are spanish or portuguese br />  
> -any phrases used by only Chilenos are from google so if any Chileans read this and I'm wrong don't hesitate to correct me!  
> -idk if Alexis hates strawberries or not  
> -whatever happened on previous chp. is still happening in this one  
> (I washed my hands with soap after writing this but)  
> -me enraba means, fuck my ass. 
> 
> I think i covered it all.


	4. Hate is such a strong word, Dislike is better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of hit a brick wall for this fic but I'm getting my groove.  
> based on this [picture](https://instagram.com/p/wykEvkOJ0C/)

When Alexis birthday comes around that's Neymar's first thought when he wakes up and even though his fingers are twitching to call him and wish him good things. He does end up reaching for his phone but instead of contacting Alexis he gets on all his favorite social medias, Instagram is the last one. He regrets it instantly. 

_poldi_official_ has posted a new photo and Neymar wishes he could unsee it but he's still staring at it as if he were a masochist. He isn't. 

The German has a smile on his face but it's not like the other really wide ones that make his eyes wrinkle, Neymar hates himself for knowing that. Alexis has a smile plastered on his face too but it doesn't look like the ones he used to give him, it looks like he's forcing it but his eyes don't look like he's not happy. Neymar hates it all. They're holding eachother's jersey's it makes Neymar's stomach do a flip in his stomach...or it feels like it. Lukas is holding the Chile red jersey a Chilean flag above the white bold letters spelling out _ALEXIS_ , underneath that a number 7. 

While Alexis holds a Germany jersey with Podolski on it's back the big 10 below it mocking Neymar in a way. He's looking at every little detail of the picture, the way they both hold the shirts with such delicacy; The complete opposite of how Neymar holds Alexis Jerseys. Lukas uses three fingers including his thumb while Alexis uses just one and his thumb. He notices the number 17 in between their heads on shorts. Notices the puma that appears on their clothing. The respect patch on the sleeve of the German's jersey. The Arsenal crest on Lukas' shorts. 

The caption, including the hashtags.

The way they both lean into each other. 

And then he's imagining how baggy the Germany jersey would look on Alexis and how cropped the Chile Jersey would look on the German. He hates himself for imagining such disturbing thing. But the shirt looks just so big and it's not even on Alexis just in front him yet it still looks overly sized. 

Neymar _hates_ it. 

 

He doesn't know that Alexis is awake when he should be asleep waiting for a text or a call wishing a happy birthday, a _parabens_...a have a good day would work. He gets nothing. 

"Irmao, you talked to Sanchez lately?" Neymar is looking questioningly at Dani shaking his head "well, did you know it was his birthday today? Like he was born TODAY? 26 years ago his mother was in a hospital screaming and shit because there was a baby, literally a watermelon coming out of her? or have you moved on already? Jesus, Ney, I ain't now you had it in you? You cried because we stepped on a baby frog once..." Neymar wants to laugh, he really does. Instead he shakes his head because no, of course he hasn't forgotten but it wasn't like Alexis was watching his phone with hawk eyes waiting for a call.

"okay, well you should really call him," 

Neymar nodded his head in agreement following after Dani to start the warm ups. 

It would have been better to have stayed at home, with him not being able to concentrate at all.

 

After training he threw his bag near the laundry room, leaving it to be washed by someone else. 

He knew what he needed to do, had been thinking about it since he woke up but now as he twirled his phone in the middle of his fingers he thought about all the things that were probably keeping Alexis busy. things like...Football, his dogs, a German. He was startled when his phone buzzed, the screen lighting up the name on the screen making his stomach feel uneasy 'my Chilean Bro'. He couldn't not answer, he couldn't, not even if Alexis stepped on his Poker. 

"hola.."

"oh, you're alive,hola Ney" 

"I'm alive, how are you?"

"good"

_"where's the birthday boy?"_

"You're busy? We can talk later-"

"with you? With your schedule I'm lucky we're talking now"

"...'m not busy"

"huh, good to know"

"I thought you were, I mean with Lukas and all you new friends I thought you wouldn't care if I didn't call."

"I've been waiting all day though"

"oh"

"yeah"

"Happy Birthday, 'Lexis" 

"Gracias"

_"Sanchez, stop hiding!"_

"I have to go Ney, we'll talk some other time?"

"of course"

 

He was suddenly wishing he knew how to reject Alexis, even a call, _especially_ a call.

 

"Here you are!" Lukas wrapped his arm around Alexis tugging him against his chest. It made him think of how different the Brazilian back in Barcelona and the German right in front of him were, even their relationship. With Lukas he was the one that was kissed and picked up sometimes, the one that was spoken sweet words to. And with Neymar he was the one whispering sweet words to the Brazilian, the one grabbing his head to be able to kiss his forehead, the one picking Neymar up on several occasions. He was the protector with Neymar, but with Lukas he was the one needed to be protected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter will be fluff, I give my word.


	5. Treat you better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hola, campeón" Neymar's breath hitched "ho-hola, Alexis?" Alexis laughs amd nods his head until he realizes Neymar can't see him "yeah, yeah its me. How light is the medal?" They both smiled "like a feather, Alexis" Alexis nods his head again "of course it is. Parabens, Ney"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coincidentally I was listening to Shawn Mendes' treat you better as I wrote this.
> 
> Now that the ice age is over, I have returned, sorry for the looooooong wait but....  
> THE WAIT IS OVER! YAY!

"Hey," 

A lot had changed. Neymar was a man now, still the party Wild child he left in Barcelona though. Alexis hadn't settled, not yet, instead he focused on his dogs. And his football; He has won many titles with his national team and everything is good with his club. 

"Hey Poldi" Poldi left Arsenal in 2015, they never had something special, Poldi had Bastian. Things happened, of course, they would room together almost always and late at night they both ached for warmth. Or after a win, with the adrenaline in their bodies set high, something else stoop up high....or when they needed to distress, let out anger or just relax in that sense, they were both there for eachother.

They were friends. With the occasional fuck or random kiss or a grope on the ass to let the other _know_ how the night would go, or just the smiles. Alexis would never want to lose the bond they had created. 

"How's it going my friend?" Alexis smiled "its going...okay. I wanted to congratulate you on your amazing International career." He knew Poldi was smiling on the other side of the phone "hmm so what I had to do to get you to called me was retire from my national team?" Alexis bites his lip, he hadn't talked to the German since he won in the states with his national team, "well you could have also done something else not just that necessarily" Poldi chuckled "thank you, Alex" alexis smiled.

They talked for an hour after that, catching up on everything that was going on with their lives.

****

He kept up with the Olympics. He supported his compatriots and of course he had his eyes set on the certain captain of the host nation. They had struggled, more than the women, in the beginning. Neymar had gotten his country an Olympic gold medal, it had never been done before. Neymar did it, he gave them the gold that they wanted. 

It had probably been over a year since he had last talked to him. Back in Barcelona, Leo had kept his word. Neymar was becoming an amazing player by the side of the best in the world. And Neymar looked happy, happy with Leo and the club and he looked happy. So, Alexis hardly ever called. They never talked about them, about what they had. 

Neymar was undoubtedly one of the most famous persons in the world at the moment and Alexis was happy for him. He was fucking glad the world had opened its fucking eyes and seened Neymar's true beauty, on and off the field. 

 

"Hola, campeón" Neymar's breath hitched "ho-hola, Alexis?" Alexis laughs amd nods his head until he realizes Neymar can't see him "yeah, yeah its me. How light is the medal?" They both smiled "like a feather, Alexis" Alexis nods his head again "of course it is. Parabens, Ney" Neymar's smile grows "thank you, Alexis" everytime he says his name it sounds like he doesnt believe its acutally him. 

It brings him great joy to hear Neymar's now perfect spanish, to hear his voice again. It makes him feel whole again. 

"I won’t keep you from partying, just wanted to congratulate you" Alexis is still smiling as he speaks "no!..I mean, no, you're not keeping me from anything" Alexis laughs and he doesnt know how great that sounds for Neymar, Neymar who thought he had fucked up and lost Alexis a long time ago. Neymar who watched Chile face Argentina with Messi's jersey in one hand and Alexis' favorite Chile jersey that the Chilean had given to him ages ago in the other hand. 

"No? Well, okay, I was thinking about changing your name on my contacts to 'Gold Olympian' what do you think?" 

"What am I know?- I mean, what's my name?- no- I mean...you know what I mean" Alexis laughs at the cuteness from the other and continues "its, 'my baby ney'" Neymar inhales sharply and incredously he asks "your Ney baby?" Alexis blushes and he starts mumbling nonses because its baby _bro_ Ney, dear god. 

"My baby bro ney, sorry" he laughs nervously as he corrects himself "oh" and damn it. He would be the only idiot that would make Neymar upset when he just achieved greatness. Fucking idiot. "I'm changing it to 'my Oympian baby', what do you think?" Neymar giggles, he _giggles_ , and Alexis is so inlove it's unbelievable. 

"Maybe, 'your _Gold_ Olympian baby'?" They're both blushing and there are butterflies in his stomach and his heart is beating _too_ fast, "I love it". 

*****

"Do you think I could get a plane ticket for England?" Alexis chuckles and shakes his head at the screen of his phone where Neymar is looking back at him "probably not, amor, the transfer window is still open and if you're seen here they'll think the worst," Neymar pouts "you don't want to be the cause of many blaugrana heartattacks do you?" Alexis smiles at him and Neymar can't help but return it.

"We'll meet up soon, I promise." Neymar sighs but nods nonetheless. They had been trying to get together while Neymar had been allowed extended vacations but sadly nothing could be worked out and now the International break was about to begin and then back to the their clubs. Neymar didn't know how much longer he could stand it. "Ney, we have waited years for eachother, a few months will be okay." Neymar rolled his eyes but smiled because after years Alexis was his and he was Alexis'. 

"I have to go to training, talk to you when I get back?" Alexis spoke to Neymar who looked like he was lost in thought "Okay, maybe we can have phone sex? I've never tried it before." Alexis blushes and he wants to kiss Neymar at that moment because the Brazilian can be embarrassed about the simplest of things but he can say things like that without any trouble. Alexis loved him. 

"Neymar _loves_ him too," Neymar is looking at him strange "can we not do the speaking in third person thing? It reminds me of Cristiano" Alexis laughs and kisses the screen "whatever you say Ney, love you" 

"Eu te amo"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 10 months later and......YAY! As promised. Your fluff.  
> I picked up from where their lives are at now but still kept it so that its a part of the series.  
>  
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> I'm a sucker for happy endings, as you can obviously tell.  
> (I'm sorry for any mistakes, I have been away from writing for a while. I felt like my writing has been better.and im writing on my tablet and its ugh.)  
> I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!


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